Wednesday, 31 August 2011

sexy mermaids redux redux

For whatever reason, people send me mermaids. I tell you, though, what I know about mermaids could be written on one of Carolyn Turgeon's postage stamps, because 'Carolyn Turgeon wrote the novel MERMAID, runs the mermaid-themed blog I Am a Mermaid, and is co-editor of the new upcoming annual MERMAIDS publication.' Wow.

One of my senior merm-aides sent me this piece by Turgeon, about a recent mermaid convention in Las Vegas. There was also a pageant, which involves strong men carrying mermaids onto the stage because everyone knows mermaids can't walk. Of course, everyone also knows that mermaids can't breath the cold bright air, but no one seems to care much about that. Carolyn ended up judging, which was arduous, but...

we judges soldiered on and diligently scored every contestant, and new international mermen, mermaids, and merbabies were crowned, and at the end, every contestant came out on stage to sit on chairs or stretch out on the floor. The little girls were sucking on lollipops as crowns slipped off their heads, and that baby was crawling and smiling in his bright blue fish tail, and all those gorgeous mermaids were posing and smiling, and it was all ridiculous and wonderful and awesome, and I was proud to have lent my services and done my part. I thought, This is why I became an author.*

Other agents have told me about Mami Wata, a Congolese spirit which is usually female, and usually mermaidy, although sometimes the bottom half is serpentine. Her main thing is to upset people's boats, take them into a paradisiacal realm and maybe return them or maybe not. If she does, then they 'usually return in dry clothing and with a new spiritual understanding reflected in their gaze.' I bet they do.

* I don't know why I became an author.

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