Wednesday, 6 April 2011

a kilburn tragedy

I went to the shops earlier. On the way, I saw this beautiful scene:



On my way home, half an hour later:



Note the heartbreaking way snail B can't bear even to look at Snail A's crushed remains. As a Snail Scene Investigator, and judging by the distance between the snails, I can conclude that the murder took place not less than nine minutes ago. That's a 21 minute window. Someone must have seen something.

3 comments:

Naomi said...

Oh god.

Although, a valuable lesson to us all in the importance of not fucking on the pavement in broad daylight.

Robert Hudson said...

This is up there with my all-time favourite comments.

Naomi said...

True story.

This evening I had dinner with my dad (before Tall Tales, obvs). As we were walking back to the car he spotted a condom on the pavement.

"Look at that," he said, because even though he is 67 he is still a bit juvenile and cannot let a condom go unremarked "is that yours?"
"No dad," I said, quick as a flash, "I don't fuck on the pavement."

This sounds like a dream or something I made up but it is true. It's been a funny day.