Wednesday, 21 July 2010

department of crazy magic rhetoric

My love of NFL Films' high rhetorical style is well-established. This week, NFL Films president Steve Sabol filled in on Monday Morning Quarterback, a regular Sports Illustrated column.

NFL Films is constantly ranking the ten top of something or twenty best of something else. Most recently, they've ranked the hundred greatest players. Steve Sabol, in his usual understated way, expresses it thus:
Ranking the great players is, in a way, like rating the saints. Is St. Peter better than St. Paul? Would you pick St. Mark over St. Matthew?
You're probably desperate to know who Sabol thinks was the greatest defensive player of all-time. It was Dick Butkus:
A force of unmanageable proportions, he was Moby Dick in a goldfish bowl. His career as the middle linebacker for the Chicago Bears stands as the most sustained work of devastation ever committed on a football field by anyone, anywhere, anytime.
There's plenty more where that came from.

And from somewhere else, there's this. If you're a regular, you may have seen it here before. You may have seen it and not clicked on it. I am going to keep posting it until I am as sure as I can be that everyone I have ever met or heard of has watched it. I will not apologise for this.

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