So, when the floor had gained integrity, presumably everything was done and you could start cooking again. WRONG! Because just look at the rest of the kitchen:
Which is to say nothing of the entrance hall:
Who can live like this? If you'd asked me three weeks ago, I'd have assumed it was a trick question and the answer was no one. But I can, and I did. What we went through is something that literally almost no Amazonian tribespersons will ever have to face.
But now the floor was honest (that's the right synonym, yes?), things proceeded at a frightening pace. By the Thursday-or-so of week one, all this had happened:
And if you think nearly having some quite similar cabinets to the old ones was enough to blow our minds, just wait until you see what had happened au-dessous de nos pieds (under our feet)!
Not just tiles, but 'tile-effect flooring'! That's better than tiles. You are probably wondering what shoes I am wearing that you can just see. They are Dunlop Volleys, which is as evocative a collection of words to an Australian as Dunlop Green Flash is to us. They are very comfortable. I am wearing them more than I used to because I lost my equal favourite shoe a few weeks ago and I am reluctant to wear odd shoes. It was a Converse All Star.
(The most expensive tiles you can get cost $1m per square meter and look like this, ie worse than ours.
They are made of diamonds, abalone shell and onyx. We'd probably have got them if it weren't for the abalone. I've got a friend who's seafood intolerant.
Here is the cupboard the size of our old drinks cupboard where our old drinks cupboard used to be. Hitherto, we used it for storing gin, rum and champagne, the three best drinks. Now, well, you'll just have to wait and see. For the best story ever written relating to our drinks cabinet, follow this link.
Antepenultimate weekend bonus: my favourite picture from a previous Inspiring Photo Essay.
Penultimate weekend bonus: a picture I took of a shop selling supplies for witches in Scarborough.
Ultimate weekend bonus: a white peacock I once saw in New York.