Friday 21 August 2009

cars, horses, ebooks

CARS ARE STUPID!
by Phil Space, our Horse and Carriage Correspondent


People keep saying that something called cars are the future of transport! Well, they're stupid because I've driven one of the first cars and it ws stupid! Look at a picture of it or something like it.

It looks stupid compared to a horse or even a proper carriage. Horses are lovely, we love horses, they are living things with a special touch and feel and so on.

Then I had a go in the stupid-looking car, which I despised on principle, making me the obviously best person to give an opinion. It was slow and complicated, and it only went for twenty miles. What a totally stupid thing! I literally cannot imagine that the one I saw, one of the first ever built, is not the best one to use to judge the entire possibilities of this kind of device for reading books. I mean for going on journeys.

I mean, people say that you'll be able to have thousands of books along with you, I mean go for hundreds of miles in air-conditioned splendour, but first I can't imagine that (not because I have no imagination!!!), and second because everyone loves horses and I have arbitrarily decided that it's either books or ebooks. I mean cars or horses.

The ebook I had a go on was stupid, therefore all cars are stupid. I mean the internet. Email I mean. Mobile phones will never catch on, aren't those people ridiculous?

Etc.

2 comments:

Salvador said...

I am reading your novel which I am enjoying. Do you have a car, sorry, ebook reader? I don't know what I really think about them (true of many things). They look swish and I imagine they save on Easyjet excess baggage charges. I write mainly for TV though and cannot judge a script until it is in printed form rather than on screen.

Robert Hudson said...

I don't. I'll get one when the right one comes along.

(I can't really read things properly off computer screens. I always print out scripts/features/stupid massive novels before editing. By which I mean: 'always so far'.)