sexy kipling

coming soon. I mean it. It's really rude, from what I remember, but I am doing a bit more research before posting. So first, here's this, from a not-so-great Wodehouse short story:

'... But perhaps I had better tell you the whole story from the beginning.'
The young man shifted uneasily in his chair.
'Well, you know, I've had a pretty rotten time this afternoon already-'
'I will call my story,' said the sage, '"The Long Hole", for it involved what I am inclined to think must be the longest hole in the history of golf. In its beginnings the story may remind of one I once I told you about Peter Willard and James Todd, but you will find that it develops in quite a different manner. Ralph Bingham...'
'I half promised to go and see a man-'
'But I will begin at the beginning,' said the Sage. 'I see that you are all impatience to hear the full details.'

(Not sure what the world's longest golf hole is - Chocolay Downs in Michegan is supposed, according to sources online, to have one at 1,007 yards, but the club's website just says it's coming soon. There's a Japanese one at 900+. Then there's the fun extreme golf stuff, like golfing 1,234 miles across Mongolia (let's break that into 18 holes for an average of nearly seventy miles per hole) and my particular favourite, the Pillar Mountain Golf Classic, which is played up a mountain on Kodiak Island, and is a one hole, par 70, day-long challenge, with no dogs, tracking devices or chainsaws. It does take place on April 1, which makes me suspicious, but I have been following the story for years without hearing it isn't real, and I don't want to be a lie. Is that enough to make something real? Wanting it to be real? In my experience: no.)